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My first official teaching position was in Ravenna, Ohio at Ravenna High School. To me, the educators of Ravenna represent resilience. The blending of generational poverty (the mindsets toward education that go along with that), rural values, and inner city culture that make up this community includes a laundry list of complexities that would take multiple lifetimes to fully understand. That being said, spending even a little time in Ravenna, it quickly becomes apparent that this community faces many challenges. For those unfamiliar with the school, their mascot is a Raven; Ravens often represent ancient wisdom, intelligence and transformation. They are spectral messengers, bearing the weight of untold visions and prophetic whispers; at least according to Google.
In 2013, I stopped in to interview on my way to accept another teaching position. I had already announced on Facebook that I’d be taking my first teaching job in North Royalton, but had previously accepted the interview, so I figured I should go.
Yeah, North Royalton was far from Cuyahoga Falls, but I was excited to be making more than I thought I would as a first year teacher, after being told my entire college experience that teaching jobs were hard to come by, even more so for my content area.
So, my round 1 interview went well and I believe the things they liked about me were
1. I was cheap because I was a new teacher without a graduate degree.
2. I was youngish (28); married and growing a family.
3. I grew up in a military family.
4. My content area was hard to staff at the time.
5. They could see something about me that told them, I needed to meet my mentor teacher.
They thanked me for my time and told me they’d be in touch. As I walked out, I was followed outside and asked to stay for a second round interview. This is not meant to be braggy, but have you ever been followed out of an interview and asked to stay for another one? I have interviewed for at least 10 teaching jobs, several at the last minute when staffing decisions are critical, and it definitely makes you feel wanted. I’m forever thankful that they did and that I got to meet everyone there. I apologize for and accept if you are one of those people I met and that feeling is not mutual.
Administratively, I had no concept of educator professionalism, proper chain of command protocols, or any idea what kind of culture the school had... and I didn't know I even needed to ask those questions. I was just happy to have a job! An administrator tried to teach me professionalism through attrition and that didn’t work well for me. I was reprimanded loudly and intensely over simple misunderstandings and my emotionally unstable ass exploded in tears, assumed my admin team hated me, and was afraid of them, but not to the point of respecting them, per se. You may know this style of management better as "Authoritarian parenting". In hindsight, I see that my administrator really did want to help me adapt, to feel included and bond with the other new hires/to be our own team, and that she wanted me to stay in Ravenna. (More on why I chose to classify an administrator/boss using a parenting style later...)
After my first year, I applied to a position in Strongsville. I was called in to the office to hear about how unprofessional it was to apply to another job without telling leadership at my current school. Apparently, they called for a reference, “So, that’s why you didn’t get that job!", is what I was told. As angry as that still makes me, I eventually got to Strongsville, and realized I didn’t belong there either, even though I wanted to. And now that I’m thinking about it, I appreciate how upfront and honest that administrator was about it. Like, "Hey, I f****'d up your shot, but I’m also going to tell you it was me." Respect. Now, not then. Then, was just rage. That administrator knew I wasn't ready to leave the nest yet. Don't you hate it when your projected authority/parental figures are right?!
I have always had alot of issues with “belonging” and needed to learn to control where I derive my self worth from. This could apply to authority figures, as well as who I gave emotional authority over myself to. Those two sentences were so wrongly put together, but if I change it, it’s too formal, so deal with it, grammar police. To whom I give emotional authority? No, GTFOH. In other words, how deeply I let other people's opinions influence my mood/behaviors.
But, who else has those issues of belonging? Children of poverty. Children of military families who attended 13 schools before graduating high school. Children of single parent households who have friends that have two parents at home. Children who have gender identity issues, children with freckles and red hair, but wish they didn't, children of color in predominantly white communities… literally everyone has that feeling until they don’t. Until someone/some place makes us feel safe, supported, and cared about, we all feel that way. Until we are shown what unconditional love looks and feels like, we may not even realize it's been there all along, and we just weren't ready to see it yet.
The school culture during the 2 years that I was there was full of fear, stress, and anxiety. There was an impending levy, the fact that our administrator was leaving and long term teachers would discuss things like "Would the culture go back to how they were before she took over or what would happen next administratively?", OTES, OPES, State testing changes, teacher mentor programs, resident educators, etc. (This was 2013-2015) But, the culture in the content area/FCS department was one of welcoming, warmth, open possibilities, and already established structure. Structure that I, personally, needed and craved. Once I got comfortable teaching, like many before, and many after me, I wanted to do it on my own. I didn't think I needed a co-teacher anymore and I wanted to make more money. I wanted to do more, faster and everyone said if you’re going to move, do it in the first 5 years of your career. So, I went to Akron, where you don't really know where you'll be assigned, and ended up being placed at Jennings CLC, the cultural epicenter of Akron for Nepali, Burmese, Congolese, and more... refugee children. Neighboring teachers called the pay increase "combat pay".
Ravenna’s resilience, and really the resilience of all educational professionals, is reflected in those who stay in the field and why they stay. They know a secret, even if they don’t know that they know it. They know that stability and working to fix something is the point. Ravenna had issues long before any of us got there (refer back to generational poverty and the POV toward education), but the mission of leaving a place better than how you found it, speaks to educators who know how important their work is. They are the stable figure that students look forward to telling good news to because they don’t see their mom/dad/temporary guardian/”only friend they had in that other town they had to leave because Grandpa got a settlement and now we’re moving, even though the adults don’t have jobs there yet”, anymore. They are the ones their students come to see after school because there's no one at home waiting for them.
The educators that stay know that if they give up on their calling to help others, they will not be complete themselves. They’ve seen students’ heartache on their face when they walk into the building with their hoodies up and their eyes down, taken the moment to ask if they can help, and been ignored. They hope that kid remembers that at least someone noticed and cared to ask. They know that they don’t always get to see the results of their work in the form of a new car, another trip to Europe that their friends are taking (or whatever, insert your envy of choice here), but they do get to go to sleep knowing they did the best they could, with what they had, to make their school a safe and better place for their students.
To be an educational professional (not just teachers!), you have to understand what it means to belong somewhere. You must value what you have been given, take care of what you have, and know that you have an obligation to share your blessings with others in your community because it strengthens us all when just one person achieves! When you truly know how it feels to know where you belong and have that security, you mourn what you overlooked before you understood.
To all of my former educational colleagues, not just in Ravenna, I'm so sorry for not truly understanding what my responsibility as an educator was until after I lost it. I knew the words, I passed the tests, but I didn't understand the true emotions and meanings of those words. It was my responsibility to know myself and have my personal issues worked out (or at the very least be competent enough with myself to separate and manage my emotions) and I hadn't ever taken the time to do so. Thank you for what you tried to show me and teach me. Thank you for being there for all of your students, myself included.
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