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I presented this apology to the victim of my offense to my group therapy participants and doctors on March 9th, 2023, as part of completing my programming with them.
Victim,
I don’t have a way to start this letter other than to jump in and tell you that I will forever be sorry for my actions and the hurt that I caused you.
My eldest son is now fifteen and is in high school. He has had a lot of challenges with anxiety, fitting in, balancing school, socializing with friends, sneaking out, all the "normal" teenager things. He has a lot of support from his parents, is able to talk openly with us about many things and has responded well to private counseling. I believe this is partly because of what happened between you and I; It opened many conversations for our family that we may not have had otherwise. Looking back, I can see that I took your action of confiding in me as flattering. I regret this and am sorry for not helping you find a resource to support you during your journey through adolescence. I should have seen that you needed help, some sort of intervention, and taken action toward making sure you got the help you needed. Instead, I let myself get caught up in the emotional excitement of someone wanting to tell me things, getting to know you more than I should have, and investing time via Snapchat with you, instead of working on myself, working on my marriage and raising my children.
I’m sure it will sound weird, but I also thank you for what happened between us, but not for the reasons the media would have anyone believe. I was on a bad path of pill addiction, was work-obsessed- trying to earn more by taking a full-time grad school course load while teaching full time, and not prioritizing my family. I truly believe that this entire experience reset my mind and allowed me to have multiple paradigm shifts, which have ultimately resulted in a lot of positive things. The most significant of which, is the amount of therapy and mental health services I’ve received and how much I’ve learned that has helped not only me, but my whole family.
I had not dealt with many of my own adolescent issues and in many ways, lived a very childish life when I knew you, even though I was an adult, in a position of authority. I will forever be sorry for hurting you. I hope that something happens or has happened that leads you to therapy. I hope that you’ve had a chance to have counseling and my assumption is: if you have, you probably “heard” some of it, but it didn’t seem like something you thought you needed. If that is the case, I hope someday you find your way back to it because we all need therapy after experiencing trauma.
I sincerely hope that someday you are willing/able to take a deep look into the impact that this experience had on you, as well as other things leading up to it, and that you can learn, grow, and heal from the impact of the mistakes I made. I hope the other people in your life apologize for the pain you've experienced, that you didn't deserve. I hope you will see that this was not your fault, you deserved better, and that I will forever be sorry for adding to an already stressful time in your life.
Sincerely,
Laura Bucy
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