.png)
For most of my life, the only comic book/strip worth reading was Calvin and Hobbes. Pretty quickly into getting to know my husband and seeing his ever growing comic book collection, that continued to be true. They were nice enough to look at, but not my thing. I didn’t have time to sit and read them, there were SO many… just, nah. Comic books were just a thing he collected, read, and enjoyed. They came in handy when I had questions about Marvel movies, and his knowledge from them helped me understand more about the character development, but mostly, they just took up space in our house.
The first comic book series that he tried to introduce me to was a retelling of The Wizard of Oz, which I did enjoy seeing the cover art for, but never got into. The next was “I Hate Fairyland”, written and illustrated by Skottie Young, circa 2015. It was so pretty and well written that I got half way through a few issues and was like “Oh yeah, that’s funny! I see why you like these….” (Note: Very adult humor based, and not for children) He’d also momentarily rope me in with variant covers of familiar Marvel characters as babies that he’d bring home, and I’d goo-goo ga-ga over them, but I didn’t read those actual issues. I guess my point is that I’m just now starting to read and enjoy comic books, and there’s an underlying theme to this realization that I wanted to share, if you’re up for a little time traveling with me.
🚀 2018/19- Leading up to, after the confession, before the sentencing- I became obsessed with trying to make life make sense. I went down so many rabbit holes across the internet and YouTube of conspiracy theories, illuminati (i.e.- remember when the internet was all like, Nicki Minaj’s Chun-Li video was her begging for help!?), aliens, pseudo psychology, not crystals (Idk, I must’ve missed that wave), but some into chakras and energy.
As I previously mentioned, I started stretching and tried some Yoga videos during this time and when I paired that with cannabis use, they would yield these emotional overloads that I didn’t understand or know what to do with. Something about being in that state of mind, being quiet/still, practicing deep breathing exercises, and experiencing the physical movements without pain, opened me up to receive clarity on emotional issues I hadn’t been facing. As Rachel Dratch likes to say, things were getting “woo-woo”.
I remember an episode of “House” where he lost access to his pain pills and he was in his office doing exercises to try to release stored opiates in his body fat. IDK how long it’s stored in there, IDK if this is part of what I experienced while stretching that helped me lose weight, there’s a lot of IDKs during this time, but I do know that when I hear about/see ads about somatic workouts, that I'd be willing to bet it’s a lot like what I experienced. I didn’t have planned poses or stretching models, I literally would use my cannabis, roll out a yoga mat, listen to music, and stretch in any way that felt good at the moment, until I didn’t want to anymore. I lost about 25 lbs when I stopped using opiates and switched to cannabis. That is not an ad, I’m not saying go get some weed and you’ll lose weight; It’s just what and how it happened for me. I felt better, so I could stretch and move more intentionally, plus I was home and able to cook healthier on a regular basis. Munchies can be satisfied with a charcuterie board filled with freshly chopped fruits and vegetables, ya'll. Something about fat binding to THC to help your body process it.
Those sessions brought up feelings about my offense, my family, but mostly they were about my extended family… like, relationships I’d had with people in my life when I was younger. The strongest were of my Aunt Beth (deceased 2002- she was the stepdaughter of my maternal grandfather who died in 2018.) My maternal grandmother, who died in May 2018 (also Beth’s mom), and someone I’d never met, my husband’s Aunt, who had died in 2001, that I’d never gotten to meet. She was a Family and Consumer Sciences teacher who later became a guidance counselor.
It was during this time that I began re-evaluating my values at an intrinsic level, but it wasn’t until my group therapy sessions in 2023 that I took the time to go through an actual values assessment. To really go through and think about these things may be easy breezy to you, but for me, I really wanted to evaluate myself, and find out what was the MOST true. What do I MOST care about as a person? What was I made for/what is my purpose, kind of thoughts… 🚀
Whew! That was a lot… Anyway….
One of my relationship based values is gift giving, as in, I give you a gift that is a physical representation that shows I care about you, your interest, or need. If it’s a commonly held love/appreciation, that makes it SO MUCH BETTER! 🥰 This gift-giving trait of mine has been perceived as, “I find you sexually attractive, I want you to buy me things back, and/or I’m trying to buy your friendship”, but most of the time, it’s none of those things. Most of the time, it’s because I know about something that I think that person would love or needs, and I want to be the one to share it with them. And if you take that even deeper, might as well, we're already here... “I want to be valued as a person who cares about the needs/wants of others and I can validate that to myself by giving them this item that they need or want." I’m not saying that’s right or healthy. It’s just how I am, but does that make sense to anyone else? I’ve learned that I want that experience and connection of texting/talking about it with you to share why it made me think of you, where you might put it, how you might use it, how much you hate it and why, or whatever. Unless it’s a gift for one of the kids’ friends’ birthday parties, those are typically last minute, “whatever’s on theme” gifts.
In January, I bought a gift for my husband’s comic book collection, and it means so much more to me than, “Oh yeah, that’s cute! I see why you like these….”, but for that to be truly understood, you needed to know all that crazy shit from 2018/19. Thanks for bearing with me!
For most of my childhood, Tobey Maguire/Sony’s movies were the go to when I though of Spider-man. The movies were fine, but he just seemed so whiny. It seemed like he was always crying… like, I just didn’t care about him as a character or anything. That being said, all those updated Marvel movies, “Into the Spider-verse”, “Across the Spider-verse”, and now with “Beyond the Spider-verse” on the way…. I have really done a 180 on my opinion of Spider-man. IDK if you know this or not, but anyone can be Spider-man. Even you!
I’m still VERY new to understanding the vast backstories behind what I’m reading, but from what I understand, this Spider-man comic that I ordered is the variant cover of the first issue of “The Ultimate Spider-man”, written by Jonathan Hickman, and is Spider-man in a “new universe”. He’s an adult, married to MJ and they have kids… but he’s not Spider-man yet. Whaaaaaat? How crazy would that be if you’re just living your adult life and BOOM, your world implodes with new abilities, and you have to figure out how to keep everything together in life or death situations? It’s the stuff of fiction… right?
We have the issue released with the original cover art, but this variant cover was drawn by Skottie Young, the only artist that has been able to capture my attention throughout the last 12 years of living with a comic book collector, other than Bill Watterson.
I'm so excited to see Peter Parker face choices as a father, husband, and overall good person, but I'm even more excited that I get to be a part of it in real time, with my best friend, and my own personal hero, Ryan Bucy.
And that brings me back to my point and underlying theme- My husband has been reading and collecting comic books since he was young. He’s read a lot of stories, seen a lot of villains, cheered on many heroes, seen how multiple perspectives are affected by the same tragedy or dynamic… but only recently did I learn why I liked that about him. I used to value that trait in him because it was easy to buy him presents. Here’s a comic book store gift card. Here’s a graphic long box, boom, ya’ gifted! But now, I see his decades long time investment of collecting, reading/re-reading stories, imitating and/or practicing his art, etc... as this amazing gift that he is able to share with our family.
I also find it interesting that the character I always dismissed, is now representative of so much for my family. All of this hits me in the feels because in another part of the multiverse, my husband might not have stayed with me throughout everything we were facing in 2018. In another part of the multiverse, I know that I wouldn’t have done some of the things I regret, but maybe you would have… In another part of the multiverse, we might all have hot dogs for fingers, or whatever! That’s the magic of good storytelling, paired with visuals that make your heart skip a beat; They can help you find answers to questions you’d never even considered, and before you know it, you can’t wait to see what happens next!
Comments