A Box of Chocolates

I lived in Beaufort/Port Royal, SC area from approx. age 2- the middle of 4th grade, with a brief stint where I started Kindergarten in Akron #northhill, but then finished the school year in South Carolina. Suffice it to say, South Carolina was a big part of my childhood. It was where we lived when my parents got divorced, where we lived when my mom remarried and my brother was born, where my earliest school memories were, where I learned about racism, where my love and fear of the ocean came from, where I got my love of the movie "Forrest Gump". (If you know me, you probably already know this, cause I've always been super proud of her, but my mom made the sign that hangs on the Gump House and did some other graphic work for the movie. FYI, that movie just turned 30 in July.) Also, in 2005, when I got married, we went to Beaufort,  and got married on the beach in Hilton Head. 

I hadn’t been back to the area since I was 19, but while on my family trip with my husband's family in 2018 to North Carolina, I remembered how much I loved the ocean and felt this, like, need to go back to Beaufort. When I had my series of breakdowns in 2018, I was also trying to get back to Beaufort... In September of 2018, my dad and I were driving through New Mexico, on our way to Ohio. I told him I wanted him to take me to the AFB that was there so we could fly home to South Carolina. I didn’t communicate it very well, but I just needed to go back, and he had to be there, and so did my mom, and I couldn’t explain it. The way that I did communicate this was ranting and raving about how he could do it if he wanted to! I told him how I knew that he had a secret military life he wasn’t telling me about (#MeetTheParents). I told him how Bruno Mars is probably a social science experiment twin of mine, (he's not lol) and the son he wanted, and that he signed over the rights to my life when I was born because that hospital was shut down (he didn't), and how I was positive the government was tracking my life through my medical records that they have always had, and just like, all kinds of random shit…

When he didn’t agree to activate his secret clearance and call a black ops helicopter to pick us up in the middle of the New Mexico desert, that’s when I was like, “Well, I’ll get there on my own”, and tried to continue my trip solo, but wound up at the University of New Mexico’s psych ward, instead. Deservedly so; I was not well and very out of touch with reality.

In 2023, I finally got to go “home” to Harbor Island with my mom, husband, and kids. It was almost exactly as it’s always been… So many of my favorite places were still there, but I was adamant that we had to stop at “The Chocolate Tree” so my kids could experience the chocolate I’d raved about for years. We could’ve ordered some and tried it here, but we didn’t; I made them wait to experience it in person. Their milk chocolate sand dollars are just perfect. Seriously, they aren't a sponsor or anything, just they're SO good.

While my parents were separated and had shared parenting, my dad and I would often walk along Beaufort’s waterfront, play at the park, go through the shops, etc. I always wanted a pink seashell chocolate (back then they were a pastel pink) that I never finished, and/or I always wanted rainbow sherbet (from another shop that’s not there anymore) that always melted before I finished it. Beaufort’s summer humidity is no joke and literally hits you like a wall when you open a door. 

When we got to the house in 2023, it was late, dark, and everyone was exhausted, so there wasn’t really a chance to go to the ocean. The next morning, I popped up early with the sunrise (SO not in my nature), started what seemed like the loudest golf cart ever, and scooted over to the condos we used to live in. I parked and walked along the sidewalk that led through to the beach access, and I stopped to take pictures because I was so happy to be home. I recorded this while crying as I walked along a definitely un-updated boardwalk out to the dunes; I was also scanning for alligators, of course.

Harbor Island is unique, in that it’s where the river meets the ocean, and it’s typically a very calm part of the Atlantic Ocean. The low tides go out way too far and when the tide is coming up, you better have your bug spray on hand. It’s one of my favorite places in the world and I was crying with joy that I got to be there again, with my husband and kids to show them where I used to spend hours searching for shells, playing with hermit crabs, and the place I lived the last time I felt like a kid. You know how people will say “Oh, you are so mature for your age” to kids when they speak and behave like adults? That didn’t happen when I lived in South Carolina. 

So, I said hi to the water, walked around a little, and then went back to the house to have a wonderful week with my family.

If it weren’t for my parents, their/my chaotic upbringing(s), I wouldn’t have had a place like that to even go back to. I loved that I had something special to share with them and it was a very cathartic trip for me. I was able to see things, places, and remember experiences with so many new perspectives, and it helped me understand more about my parents, myself, and what kind of parents my husband and I are/want to be.

Yesterday, we received an unexpected kilo of Belgian chocolate that my step-dad brought back from his most recent work trip. My step dad also took my mother and I to The Chocolate Tree while we would be out and about in Beaufort. When we lived in California, he would bring home See's Candies, or other chocolate from his travels. When we landed in Ohio, my mom found Grabham's and their milk chocolate truffles became my absolute favorite. Not every part of being a military brat sucks, but just like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get.* The BEST part about the box of chocolate he sent us, though, was the legend/key/treasure map that came with it. It's like a delicious chocolate puzzle that you get to sample and it made me very happy... so I made a TikTok about it. I TikTok'd? I posted a video... To the world, maybe that's a video of someone bragging about their expensive chocolate. To me, though, it's a memento of my childhood and it triggered this entire post/emotional dump. Not every video is something so meaningful, but this one is to me and now you know why. Thanks for reading this.

***ugh...I know, but, just, all the cliches are true.***